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Orgasm Alley Comparison Guide (3)

My most frequent query is: Which machine is best for me? I've vastly expanded the comparison guide based on the ways this question gets asked... you'll find OA machines compared two different ways:

- Usage scenarios. This is an excellent place to start, listing my own "top picks" for a number of usage styles based on extensive experience and feedback.

- Side-by-side. This section provides a table listing relevant user and technical factors for every current model. It's a great way to overview the entire OA collection and narrow your choices.

The comparisons wrap up with some observations about Orgasm Alley sex machines, and the ways they are distinct from others In the Marketplace (below).

Competition

I know it's shocking, but there are other machines and machine makers out there ;) Some of them have even created their own designs for sex machines, and of course all of them promote their particular machine(s) on whatever factors they believe appropriate. I'm not interested in bad-mouthing these folks... my hope in this section is to highlight aspects of my machines for your consideration, and so that you may compare my offerings in the marketplace. Competition, as they say, is good for everyone.

Experience

I started building sex machines for my own enjoyment (both the building and the using) sometime around 1995, and had the pleasure of experimenting with a very wide range of motors, controls, movements, and designs. This robust understanding of the topic led to my commercial machines here at Orgasm Alley. Every one -- with the exception of the Invader, inspired by an early Fuckingmachines.com model at a customer's request -- is an original design leveraging the hard-won know how of experimentation.

If you see a machine offered here, I designed it. If you see an identical or suspiciously similar machine elsewhere, and it's not named the same (note that the Probe and Probe Plus are also sold as the Plow and eXtreme Plow), someone has copied my design. It happens, of course, because some people will always ride on the efforts of others. But I think it is important to note that the choices made in the copy are not based on the knowledge that comes from having designed it.

Naturally, I also have extensive experience using these machines... part of the "required testing" I assure you ;) Lots of testing improves the resulting product. For example, I've spent plenty of time with both finite and infinite stroke adjustments. Based on this experimentation, my products use finite stroke adjustments (excluding the powered adjustment on the Glide), because I found it much more useful to have discrete positions one can accurately return to instead of the ability to adjust the stroke length a little bit this way or that way. My time with machines also means I can answer questions from many different perspectives, and help customers assess what will best meet their needs.

Quality of Primary Components

If you've read here at all, you already know I have a thing for quality. I won't cut corners that deliver a lesser machine so I can sell it at lower cost... or at least do so openly and with care, as in the Probe motor. The single biggest cost in a fucking machine is also the single biggest determinant of its useful life and quality: the motor. I am proud to say that I use extremely high quality, premium branded American made gearmotors, primarily from Bodine and Leeson. To lower the unit's costs, my least expensive machines -- the Mini Mite and Probe -- use a Chinese made motor, and this strategy runs rampant across most other makers. If it's not clearly an American motor used on a cheaper competitor's machine, it was probably made in China. There is no comparison between the two.

I've read a claim that mass producing sex machines might cut the powdercoat cost of one from a proposed $125 to $15, presumably to imply this as a way a machine can be cheaper without being lesser. I seriously doubt it. Not the $15... that's about what I pay for a three-piece unit like the Probe. I seriously doubt anyone could possibly pay $125 to powdercoat a sex machine. My powdercoater did a 10-part full-sized collapsible jail cell (6' x 6' x 8') for me and charged only a bit more than $125! However, you could EASILY save more than $100 by using a cheap Chinese-made motor instead of an American model like Baldor, Bodine, or Leeson... but that does compromise the resulting machine. Think that's a high estimate of the difference? Please compare my own Probe Plus (US motor by Bodine, $750) and Probe (Chinese motor, $550). The only difference between these two machines is the motor.

The same is true for speed control circuity, although it is a bit less important. Every speed control in an Orgasm Alley machine is assembled in America. These high quality controls have proven exceptionally reliable and very capable. Are competing machines using speed controls from the USA or from China? I don't know. I do know that you can get a cheaper -- and lower quality -- motor control from China if you want to, and that would cut your costs... and your product's quality.

Little Touches

There are a number of little finishing touches present on some or all Orgasm Alley machines that you'll come to appreciate over the years. Many feature power and control cords that detach, which makes the machine a lot cleaner to store and is better for the cords themselves. The hand control is particularly well made, with the large knob pointing its way around a delineated 0-to-10 numeration for repeatable speed settings. My cords are long... a full 10 feet, which again costs a bit more, but is much more useful than shorter cables. The fine powdercoat finish on OA units is applied by a true master of his craft, the same man who has been handling my powdercoat for more than a decade. The Probe and Probe Plus adjustable legs use industrial channel and mated nut for a secure lock that doesn't damage the powdercoat on either piece, instead of running a bolt into the powdercoated surface of the leg as one copy machine does.

Truth in Stats

The statistics provided for sex machines are of varying reliability, to the experienced eye. The Shockspot, for example, clearly doubles their claimed "strokes per minute" claims by counting one stroke -- one in and one out -- as two, unlike pretty much every other machine maker, and their own numebrs prove it. A 4" stroke travels 8" (4" in, 4" out), and 250 of them in a minute is 2000 inches of total travel. However, their machine's "maximum speed" -- which excludes decellerating and accellerating at both ends of each stroke and is much higher than average speed in use and with a load -- is 23.6s inches per second, or 1417 inches per minute. If the theoretical maximum speed is 1417" in a minute, how does this machine move 2000 inches in that amount of time? When illustrating torque/thrust, Shockspot compares their unit against a hypothetical machine of very long stroke, 12"... they don't mention that their machine crawls at this stroke length, delivering maybe 40 or 50 strokes (real ones, both in and out) per minute!

It is worth a little suspicion when comparing offerings from different manufacturers. Some have a propensity for over volting a motor, operating it at a voltage above that for which it is rated. This delivers more speed but perhaps at a cost to the longevity of the motor. Chinese motors may themselves have "optimistic" performance ratings, and there isn't any standardization or enforcement from Asian suppliers for rating accuracy. Orgasm Alley motors are rated to run indefinitely, and tuned to maintain this capability. You can count on the figures presented to be accurate and honest.

Warranties, Guarantees

To put it simply, Orgasm Alley has the best set of guarantees and warranties in the business. A high quality sex machine is a big investment, and -- bluntly -- a risk you are taking sight-unseen across the Internet. Your ultimate protection is the Satisfaction Guarantee: if it doesn't work for you or isn't what you were told, return it. If it does work for you, and I believe it will, you also have the protection of the longest warranty in the industry: lifetime. That's my lifetime, which statistics say should be maybe 40 years. I don't have to exclude some of my machines, because I make them all AND provide a lifetime warranty on each one.

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Find more fine handcrafted sex equipment at these other Orgasm Alley special interest sites:
Spank-O-Matic: The Ultimate Spanking Machine
Ballz: The Precision Stainless Steel Dildo System

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