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Ordering Information

If it deals with the ordering process, sales policies, and similar topics, you'll find it here. Please note the Spank-O-Matic line is part of the Orgasm Alley offerings, along with the fine sex machines I also hand craft. OrgasmAlley policies are in full effect for these products, except as superceded by statements below. Should you have a question that isn't answered to your satisfaction, please don't hesitate to contact me.

How do I order? | All about shipping | Payment | Privacy guarantee | Customer satisfaction | Usage

How Do I Order?

OrgasmAlley uses a secure online shopping cart that allows complete configuration of each model with just a few clicks, providing all of the options I believe enhance each individual machine in a single place. Shipping calculations are presently online by broad regions of the world... please select the region that most closely matches your location. If the cart significantly overestimates your actual shipping charges, I will refund the difference. If you select the best zone and the cart undershoots, I'll eat it. If you're outside the available zones or would like a guaranteed accurate shipping quote, please contact me to order.

This site provides a wealth of information to assist in your purchase decision, and I stand behind every word. I'll also gladly assist you personally, if you'd like. The contact link provides complete information about contacting me with questions or to ask for advice. Please do not hesitate to ask.

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All About Shipping

Shipping on all machines is targeted for 10-14 days after your order is placed, as I build all units to-order. In my personal acknowledgement of you order, I will indicate any variance in this schedule due to personal issues or whatnot, but I do hit this target more than 95% of the time. Purely accessory or parts orders generally ship within a week, and often within a couple of days. If you have specific needs regarding timing, please feel free to contact me in advance of your order... I am happy to do everything I can to meet your needs for things like day of delivery and so forth. However, my builds are solely on a first-in, first-out basis and I cannot generally guarantee shipment in a shorter timeframe. Please expect a signature to be required to receive your shipment.

Your purchase includes a standardized shipping charge based on the model ordered and your location. Domestic (US) shipments ship for the standard charge stated on each model page. International shipments use a multiple of this amount depending on the destination country. I've tried to fairly assess shipping fees, and should I overshoot significantly I'll refund the difference to you. If International shippign is significantly higher than the cart estimate, I will contact you to cover the additional amount, excluding packaging costs but including insurance.

In the US, your machine arrives via UPS Ground (*), unless you need special arrangements such as delivery to a PO Box. USPS Priority shipping is available as an alternative in the US. UPS tracking information will be provided via email after your unit ships out.

International orders ship USPS Priority Express, which does not provide significant in-transit tracking. All International duties, taxes, and so on are the customer's responsibility at time of receipt. All shipments are declared and insured at actual value, to the extent possible. I strongly favor Express, but may also ship Priority when Express is impractal due to size restrictions. Some destinations may require Global Express Guaranteed (by FedEx) for some machines due to size limits. Some destinations may require an additional shipping fee, an issue I will bring to your attention as promptly as I can.

I pack with passion: I want my creations to arrive in your hands in pristine condition. To that end, I use a range of protective packaging including doubled cartons, bubble wrap, styrofoam peanuts, extra cardboard, and lots of tape. Some external cartons are recycled and may exhibit evidence of prior use. Please examine the outside of your carton upon reciept, and save all packaging materials until a visual inspection confirms the safe arrival of the unit. There will be no existing crushing damage to the carton and no punctures. If you see such evidence, please write "exception: damage" directly above your signature. Please alert me to any transit problem, and we'll discuss the best way to resolve it.

Because you are purchasing made-to-order equipment, please understand that any loss or damage occuring in transit is not as simple as pulling another widget off the shelf and sending it your way. You agree to work with me in such an unlikely event, and acknowledge that my timeline to address your issue may be reliant upon the carrier's timing for insurance claims resolution, shipping fee refunds, package recovery attempts, and so forth. I will always do my very best to address your needs as promptly as possible.

All packages go out devoid of external indications of contents. Shipper fields, when required, describe the contents as "pneumatic driver tool." International shipments include documentation of this purpose. Return address is in my name. No one will know a thing! ;)

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Orgasm Alley uses the Paypal Payflow Pro payment gateway to accept Paypal, American Express, Discover, Master Card, and VISA securely over the web. I am also happy to process credit cards by phone. Never email your credit card information to anyone! Required information: card number, expiration date, security code, billing address, ship-to address, email address. Use the Contact link at the top of each page for phone and email information.

Cashier's check, money order, or personal/business check (10 day hold on personal/business) may also be mailed in... please email for address information, or check out through the cart and select "mail in payment" option. Finally, if you'd like to pay via wire transfer I can provide the relevant information upon request.

All payments are accepted in US Dollars only. With any payment method, please provide your email address. I use this as the key field for my work queue and other order tracking, and use email for payment and shipment confirmations. I work on a paid-in-full-upfront basis (authorization, in the case of credit cards). That's a policy I don't have much flexibility on.

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100% Privacy Guarantee

This section is very simple: your privacy is absolutely guaranteed. I do not sell or otherwise share/distribute any customer information. Orgasm Alley does not spam, and in fact does not use collected email addresses in any manner. No customer information is accessible from the Internet. No testimonial will include name, contact information or detailed location.

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Satisfaction Guarantee and Lifetime Limited Warranty

Orgasm Alley offers industry-leading Satisfaction Guarantee and product Warranty that cover all Spank-O-Matic machines. Please review these policies in detail on the OA Policies page.

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Customer Satisfaction

I guarantee that, unless otherwise stated or agreed, the pictures and descriptions of the item you order will fairly and accurately represent the item you actually receive. If your item does not meet your needs and expectations and the fault for that is mine, let me know and I'll take care of it. Should the fault be yours, also let me know... we'll work something out. My goal is exceptionally satisfied customers across the board.

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Find more fine handcrafted sex equipment at these other G&C sites:
Orgasm Alley: High Performance Sex Machines
Ballz: The Premier Steel Butt Toy System
Sartan's Workshop: Fine BDSM Equipment

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