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Spank-O-Matic II


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Spank-O-Matic II










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Spank-O-Matic II










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Spank-O-Matic II










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Spank-O-Matic II










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Spank-O-Matic II, Hand Control










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Spank-O-Matic II, Disassembled










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Robospanker's Lowest Setting

SOM II vs. the Competition

Spanking machines are obviously highly specialized tools, and there are a grand total of three of them available commercially. This page primarily compares the Spank-O-Matic and the Robospanker, but I'll start with the SpankerMachine and discuss why I'll then ignore it. The SpankerMachine is a small, motor driven, spring powered device of severely limited capabilities, available for quite a lot less money than the other two units. Functionally, it's really a scaled-down Robospanker using a radial spring instead of a rubber tarp strap for power. The SpankerMachine is limited in both power and control. It's stated paddle weight limit is 100 grams (3.5 ounces), which is less than the SOM II cane system -- my lightest effector -- weighs. We're talking wooden kitchen spoon and similar. In terms of controls, the SpankerMachine is just like the Robospanker: periodic operation only, a small number of discrete power levels (ten, specifically) that you change between while the machine is stopped. Based on the conversations I have with people who have purchaed the SpankerMachine, both power and durability are problems. The one that I have came to me for free as a broken unit. The bottom line, in my opinion, is that the SpankerMachine is a novelty toy in comparson to the other two units.

Therefore, my primary comparison is SOM v. Robospanker My objective here is to provide as much factually accurate information as possible comparing your two options in serious spanking machines. I'm happy to give a link over to the Robospanker -- Robospanker.com -- so you can examine it for yourself, because once you understand the difference the choice is clear. The folks at Robospanker apparently think so too, since they refer to the SOM mysteriously as "a spanking machine which is powered by pneumatics."

On their site, the folks at Robospanker say "You may have noticed that the competition has devoted a lot of space on their website comparing their product to ours." Yes, I think you the prospective customer want a comparison between the two machines, and this page is it. You may also notice that Robospanker devotes a HUGE amount of their website text to making specious claims about "hazards" of air compressors, and absolutely no time actually comparing the spanking machines. When facing a competing machine that is better in every way, you obviously cannot do much direct comparison. You decide which spanking machine is better!

First up is the five-point Hot List. If you work best with less detail, these are the most important points when comparing the SOM against the Robospanker. The table that follows accurately compares the SOM with computerized hand control (column 2), the SOM with SOM2PC controller (column 3), and the current Robospanker (column 4). Column 1 lists a series of features or characteristics important to a spanking machine. Where there is a clear best and worst in the feature list below, I have highlighted these cells in green and red respectively. Note that every single comparison is also true of the less expensive SOM II LT, with the appropriate control system.

Hot List, Top 5 Advantages of the SOM II

1 - Pure Power, Baby. If the SOM fully powered delivers a "10", then the strongest setting on the Robospanker is a bit less than "4" based on my testing, documented in video. The SOM is more than 2.5 times as powerful as the Robospanker. While the Robospanker can only swing light weight implements, the SOM is capable with any effector from light to heavy. See the Spank-Off for video proof.

2 - Striking Power Adjustability. Robospanker has 3 power levels, the SOM is infinitely adjustable. The SOM is a car you can drive at any speed between 0 and 100 MPH, while the Robospanker only lets you drive at 10, 20, or 40 MPH... and you must stop and open the hood to change speeds!

3 - Setup Flexibility. The SOM adjusts infinitely in height and striking angle. Robospanker adjusts by inch increments from about knee-high to 36" (claimed) tall, and to a handful of discrete angles. As displayed in the Spank-Off, the SOM II adjusts quickly and easily, while the Robospanker is cumbersome to adjust.

4 - Striking Modes. The Robospanker has a single mode of operation, periodic. When operating, it strikes every so often, and that spacing is the same each time absent user input (changing the speed). The SOM offers many spanking modes, including manual, periodic, and random modes.

5 - User Controls. The SOM is controlled through either a PC or a high quality comprehensive corded hand control. In either case, you have full control over power, speed, striking modes, manual operation, and so forth right from your hand, while the machine is operating. The Robospanker has a small corded box that gives you start/stop and speed control. Changing striking power is a lengthy process done from behind the machine while it is stopped (see Spank-Off). The SOM may be controlled over the Internet through the SOM2PC hardware and software.

Comparison Table

Characteristic

SOM w/ Hand Control

SOM w/ SOM2PC

Robospanker

List Price

$800 plus air source (LT $550)

$800 plus air source (LT $650)

$695 (perpetually on sale for $495)

Power Mechanism

Computer-controlled pneumatics

Computer-controlled pneumatics

Wiper motor driven, bungee powered

Paddle Orientation

Infinite angle adjustability, horizontal to vertical

Infinite angle adjustability, horizontal to vertical

Handful of discrete angles

Paddle Height

Infinitely adjustable, ~0-36" high

Infinitely adjustable, ~0-36" high

Adjustable every inch across undisclosed range

Power Settings

Infinite, adjust by hand control while using machine

Infinite, adjust in software while using machine

Three settings, adjust inside when stopped

Speed Settings

Infinite, adjust by hand control

Infinite, adjust in software

Infinite, adjust by hand control

Seconds between Strokes

<1 - 15 (automatic), <1 to infinite (manual)

<1 to infinite, manual and automatic modes

1 - 7 seconds

Manual Mode

Yes, push button to spank

Yes, click button to spank

No direct control option

Automatic Mode

Eight different modes

Many, many automatic options

Periodic, only form of operation

Random Spank

Yes, several different random modes

Yes, several different random modes

None

Moving Aim

Yes, with optional Automater

Yes, with optional Automater

None

Hand Control

Full function: on/off, power, speed, modes

Full function through software, local or Internet

On/off and speed slider

Solo Features

Full features from hand control, several automatic and random modes

Huge range of automatic and random options, sessions, record/playback spankings

Striking speed and on/off from hand control, optional timer

Transport/Store

Breaks down; move/store easily; weighs ~40#

Breaks down; move/store easily; weighs ~40#

Base comes off, main body 20 x 12 x 8; weighs ~40#

Stand Rigidity

Extremely rigid stand

Extremely rigid stand

Stand sways massively, added small screw to limit

Assembly

Assembles easily with hand knobs

Assembles easily with hand knobs

Tool assembly, "take apart in 5 minutes"

Start Delay

None

1 to infinite seconds delay

None

Auto Off

None (could use any cutoff timer)

After unlimited strokes or seconds

Optional 15 mintue timer

Internet

None

Full functioned operation over Internet

None

Optional Bench

Highly adjustable aluminum bench, integrates with spanker

Highly adjustable aluminum bench, integrates with spanker

2x4 bench, not adjustable, spanker stands separately
Newer "deluxe" bench adjustable, spanker still stands separately

Optional Restraints

Electromagnetic restraints, positive-fail, digital timer up to 1 week

Electromagnetic restraints, positive-fail, digital timer up to 1 week, computer control, Internet control

One-size wood stocks, screwdriver safety, 15 minute springwound timer

Robospanker's Comparisons Against the SOM II

So you've read from the maker of the SOM how it's superior in pretty much every way to the other spanking machine available, the Robospanker. No huge surprise, I'm sure. Now it's time to follow the link above to the Robospanker site, where you'll read about the ways their machine spanks better than the SOM, right? Well, no. Not a single time does Robospanker claim their machine provides a better spanking than the SOM, and not in any way. They don't claim it hits harder, softer, faster, slower; that it's easier to control and adjust; or that it has important features not present in the SOM. Hmmm.

Instead, you will read a mix of accurate (but exaggerated) and nutty attacks on the concept of pneumatics as a spanking power source. Added noise, cost, setup, and maintenance. These are all true, to one degree or another... a compressor is not free, does make at least some noise, requires that it be plugged in to set it up, and should have the tank drained periodically. Bacteria and oil inhalation health risks, utterly unsupported in literature including Robospanker's own references. Misleading mischaracterizations about the contents of an air compressor manual.

It seems you could only conclude that Robospanker agrees that the SOM beats their machine in every way when it comes to performance, if all they can do is try to shoot blanks at a longstanding and widespread technology. Before you buy in to Robospanker's claims about pneumatics, please take a moment to read the Enlighten Knowledge Base link above where I address these points directly.

Battling Reviews

Obviously the best case scenario in comparing these two machines would be a knowledgable person experienced with both, reviewing each machine, and publishing those reviews totally independent from either website. Well, we have that in the Spanking Blog... sort of. As a site in the industry, and one strongly related to the spanking community, our happy reviewer won't directly compare the two, and you'll have to read direct comparison points and any negatives about a machine between the lines, or in what is left unsaid. It is true that the Robospanker review doesn't have much actual review, but we work with that provided to us.

TheSpankingBlog reviews Robospanker, March 22, 2010

TheSpankingBlog reviews SOM II, February 23, 2011

I hope you'll read these reviews. Which is implied to be more powerful? Of the Robospanker: "yes it does work well and its hardest setting is more than enough for very real discipline and spanking." Of the SOM II: "allows you to vary the severity of the spanking from as light as you can feel, to way too hard for just about anyone out there" and "With even the smaller compressor, we were able to adjust the machine to go as hard as even our toughest models could stand."

What about other points of comparison? Note that Michael Masterson writes the Robospanker review having never used a SOM II, and writes the SOM II review once experienced with the Robospanker. Points that receive unusual emphasis will tend to indicate areas of signficant advantage... and that's basically all of the important ones! Read the review, or just browse a couple of highlights about the SOM II system:

- "clearly very professionally built by what I would guess is someone with an engineering background"
- "allow it to be setup to spank in any position you can think of, from bending over to laying down flat"
- "I have to admit that it has been years since I have had any sort of spanking, but Holy Hell, this thing works"
- "Our unit uses about the smallest air compressor on the market and produces more force than we need for our productions. I personally took a few with the lexan paddle at 60% max and that was a little much. This was without the air compressor on its highest setting."
- "Each time we have used it in a shoot the girls have been left with bruised and sore bottoms. If your goal is real discipline, there is no doubt that this device will leave whoever is on the receiving end sitting gingerly for many days to come."

Learn: SOM II

See: Video of the SOM II
Control: Take Control of the SOM II
Hear: Testimonials for the SOM II
Compare: SOM II vs. the Competition
Understand: Pneumatics for Spanking Power
Enlighten: Find Truth Through the Competition's Lies


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